11th Annual Celebrity Metrology Conference, Las Vegas, Nevada
Person in front of you at Open Mic Night/last guy to leave drumming circle/has-been from Sheila Bishop’s Cabaret
Hey, you brought donuts!
Man, some asshole is eating all the donuts.
Name published in the well-read journal The Yellow Pages
Name published in the less well-read White Pages
Yes, that would be you on your driver’s license.
Theoretical lowest values for celebrity. One or more of the following minimally apply:
• Can recognize own self in mirror, or
• Corpse can be identified by mother
• Are minimally distinct by Leibniz’s Law