Ed Harris' Perfect "10"

Score of "10"

Pure Buttermilk for Little Eddie

Score of "9"

Must fight urge to masturbate whenever your name is mentioned

Score of "8"

Look like Victoria Principal on the cover of old Scholastic Magazine

Score of "7"

"Ladyfriend": Will put on fresh shirt for you

Score of "6"

Look good in softball jersey

Score of "5"

Mardi Gras/have own car

Score of "4"

Some loss of symmetry; "operational"

Score of "3"

More than six factors in common with manager of Burger King

Score of "2"

Unclear how you get around; also, which way you are facing

Score of "1"

Are a man wearing a plastic garbage bag

(Because Ed Won't Leave Me Alone)